Women Definition Of Value And How To Improve ItAdele Green
The women definition of value depends on understanding how they determine it, and then one can better understand how to improve it. Make sure you matter and learn at least 5 reasons why you have value by reading this article.
The value of women is determined by the feedback they get. If you want to improve the value of women, you will need to understand how communication with women gives them feedback concerning their value. Ans also, what are the 5 things women need to understand that will improve their value as women.
From a relationship perspective:
The worst thing a man can do to a woman is to invalidate her especially at those times when he dismisses, ignores or even interrupts her. Men have no idea that their need to obtain facts, invalidates a woman’s values, and to her it implies a disrespect of boundaries. Did you just say to her, “Your argument is invalid?” OOPS!
Reading this article will help you understand:
- what it means to invalidate someone
- what disconnects you from your partner in relationships
- underlying anger of women
- how to become more sensitive to women’s feelings even if you do not understand them
- how to better let women feel validated
- discover 5 perspectives women can do for themselves to improve their value
To validate someone is the opposite of bullying them. Read more about bullies here.
Who should read this?
We are all different: Some of you, reading this right now are men and some women. Some are introverted and pull their personal space in close while others are extroverted and outspoken as they push their space out wide. Some people are sensitive and others are forceful.
Maybe the whole concept of talking about being invalidated seems bizarre. It is important to create awareness about being invalidated because it makes us believe we are victims. The loss of disconnection between people can be avoided if we have the tools to discuss what are important to us, because we are all equal – just different.
If boundaries are not respected, relationships will not be sustainable.
Why are women misunderstood?
When people are invalidated they interpret this as not being respected. On a deeper level to them it means they are not important enough. Their opinions do not matter and they become victims or become angry. The anger is hardly ever explicitly shared. It is suppressed and create women who show up in other passive aggressive ways.
Female roles prescribe how and when we must speak, on which basis and the roles do not leave room for emotions. Permission to matter is limited. Depending on what our mothers taught us, we either do or do not speak up… and so our boundaries are changed with every bit of interaction with those who dismiss our opinions and feelings.
The world tells women to value themselves, unfortunately our way of life discounts women’s feelings. Being discounted does not just concern the female struggle either, it upsets every person who does not feel respected.
In every day life you see this in action in the communication between people. It happens everywhere, even in places where we expect equality. Inside the legal system for example a man and a woman are both approached for the same issue at hand; and chances are that the man will be addressed most of the time as he is looked in the eye and spoken to. The woman, although as relevant and equally present, will get less of the focus and attention. Who decided that they have more credibility? (I couldn’t resist saying this even though I am fully aware that this is a generalisation.)
Even when the man and woman are both asked for information, the man will be given the first opportunity to speak. It does not seem to matter if the person who is addressing the man and women is a man or a woman themselves. The experience is the same as the authority figure representing the legal system addresses the roles of men and women rather than the people themselves.
It almost appears as if men are given an unfair advantage. Their voices are louder and they are bigger and stronger. (Of course this would be my opinion, but it has also been my and many other women’s experiences.)
Even inside the relationships when two people speak, men have louder voices. Often women avoid conflict and do not say what they feel because feelings are irrelevant.
In both these situations one person can be invalidated as if his or her opinion matters less because it does not feel as if it was given equal airtime.
What do I mean when I say a person is invalidated?
I want to focus on how we invalidate someone else by not respecting their different values. When someone superimposes their value-system or map onto our map of how we think the world works, it screams the message that what we believe is not true. This touches on the very foundation of a person’s existence, especially when the discounting comes from someone you trust and value.
How can we validate women then to correct this?