10 Rules Of Happiness, Red Lipstick & A MirrorAdele Green
We want it to be logical. We want to be told what the rules are. We want to believe that if we stick to it, we WILL be happy. I dare you to take these 10 rules of happiness and write them on your bathroom mirror with a red lipstick. And if not these then your own.
And let’s start with this short poem I wrote, because you may be able to relate to this state of mind:
Let them take me apart
Inside nothing will move me from my heart
Let people make up their minds about me
I am but a thought and act in my own heart
I react to comments
But my conviction is crystal clear
I know who I am and that is the foundation for my strength
I stand strong knowing that I give from a true place
Defining anything does not make it so
Knowing is not doing
I would rather be seen as the mirror ”Being who I am” than who you wish me to be
Is this about finding yourself or creating yourself?
You tell me – which is authentic?
Have you ever felt like this?
If happiness was that simple, we will all be happy most of the time.
Oh but it is actually easier than you think. It is more about us wanting things our way that stands between us and being happy. If only we accept and live by these nifty rules I will declare soon, maybe we can be happy.
But first we have to address a few myths of happiness.
Myths to challenge
Happiness comes from outside us.
How do I know this? I found myself at 25 in a place where life was good. I had everything I wanted and then I had a thought: “I don’t deserve this”.
Has this happened to you … ever? Then what? I can tell you what happened to me. My life changed drastically after that and eventually I started believing I was not destined to be happy. All of this nonsense because I too used to believe that happiness comes from outside us. If that is what you believe, pinch yourself and wake up. Soon I will tell you soon why this is very dangerous…
Happiness is a glimpse or moment.
The Chinese proverb explains it so – If you want to be happy:
…for an hour, get drunk
…for three days, get married
…forever, become a gardener
Are you smiling? Do you agree? Well after I explain what you need to know to be happy you might reconsider your thoughts. It is not every day we get to challenge a Chinese proverb probably said by someone with short term goals.
Alas I want to share what inspired me to write my homemade version of the top 10 Happiness Rules
I am in a study group where we recently shared a chapter on happiness that was too good to not share. So I want to acknowledge the author who compiled these preconditions … an existential analyst Christoph Kolbe in chapter two of the book Living Your Own Life. As many of the psychological books go; and since you might never read it (although I would encourage you to); I decided to share my interpretation with you – and in the process provide answers to the many questions I get about happiness.
The first thought I introduce is that happiness is a way of life, state of mind and most importantly …much more than a feeling.
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