Marry Me, Already!

Marry Me, Already!

How do we know when our partner is ready for marriage? What are the signs to look for when we have been around for too long to call them ‘boyfriends’? What prevents them from taking the next step? When everyone starts to wonder about us and it has become awkward to ask us this question, we also really want to understand what is behind the hesitation.

“Why does my partner not marry me?”

When courting does not automatically lead to marriage we need a reason for this. And often the signs are right there, but we do not see them because they are in our blind spot. The universal question ‘Why is my partner choosing not to marry me?” applies to both men and women.

Sometimes we notice a pattern, coming from the different people we call into our lives.

To trust what we feel, we ask a safe person our question. Just think about the influence this answer has over us.

Anne’s story (not her real name)

“I have a feeling history is repeating itself. After much self work and when I really wasn’t looking for anyone, I found someone who I thought was my partner for life. That was 5 years ago. We have had amazing times together. I get a feeling that even though there is a commitment between us, there isn’t a ‘real’ commitment.

We are not in our 20’s anymore, so making a more solid commitment like marriage/engagement is what would seem the appropriate thing to do. Yet, there is something missing, in this equation. I just can’t tell exactly what this is.  Perhaps, it’s the closeness or oneness that some couples seem to have? I haven’t paid too much attention to this and I just continued on with life, asking questions and sometimes wondering what my life would be like if I were single or with someone else.

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