Featuring: Lessons in HeartbreakAdele Green
Sometimes you are so moved by words that it transport you back to your own deeply felt experiences. That is how I felt reading Lessons in Heartbreak.
It made me reminisce about:
- The passion of love
- Realise that we are never ever too old to experience falling for love
- The mojo of women and if we have forgotten how powerful we are
I want you to read this and really feel it. I don’t want to analyse it. It is too beautiful. The writer gave me full permission to repost her blog and I do for the reasons I always share. Become empowered! Love moves the world around.
I recently fell in love. Deeply. I had all the classic symptoms; I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t focus on anything. He was interesting, cute, sweet, sexy, bright, difficult, challenging – everything that I wanted. He told me that he never shared so intimately with anyone, he told me he loved me, he told me that he was a better man around me, he told me that he thinks I could be the one. And the kisses…well, left me breathless.
Now let me take a moment to clarify that I was not looking for this. In fact, I am a pragmatist, not romantic and certainly not sentimental at all. It came out of left field and knocked me off my feet.
The synchronicities and symbols that popped up everywhere made me realise, after our second date, that my animus was constellated. My ex was worried and warned me to take it easy! To which I replied, ‘It’s too late!’. I was in love and I surrendered to the experience completely.
I had thought that I would never feel like that again, that it just was not in the cards for me. When it happened, I jumped straight in with both feet, basking in the warmth and heat of the experience. For years prior to this experience, I suspected that I was like sleeping beauty, frustrated and debilitated by my inability to awaken myself. I felt like something was missing from my life and no matter what I tried and pursued it remained nebulous and out of reach. And suddenly here was my prince, and he brought me back to life with a single kiss.
I was transformed, I felt alive, awake. I was so happy!
Alas! I had to fall in love with the most adult person ever, whilst I was transformed into a love starved teenager. As much as I pushed and loved and embraced, he ran in the opposite direction. Too much, too soon, relax, calm down, he warned. But I opened my heart, my house and more – he said he is not ready to commit, can’t marry again, can’t love again. While having just come out of a nasty divorce, surviving cancer and a bad accident, he told me he is in no condition to love me. My perspective was that this is an amazing opportunity, a gift and an act of grace. Let’s take it with both hands, I told him, let’s lose ourselves in love and passion! To which he replied, you’re pushing too hard.
And shortly afterwards, he broke it off with the excuse that he couldn’t give me what I wanted and that he didn’t want to hurt me.