4 Tips For How To Overcome Fear

How far are you willing to go to learn how to overcome fear? I learned four key lessons from my fire-walk that I consider to be smart goals.

You are defined by your skin, your emotional boundaries and what people tell you about yourself. But you can only recognise what you already know. Phew, that is a mouthful!

In the process of getting to know who we are, we test the boundaries. It is an important part of this machine that makes us tick. To figure out the boundaries of who we are, we need to overcome our fears. In learning to overcome our fears we learn just how far we will go … and we then move towards what we choose to.

• Do we seek safety?
• Do we seek a change?
• Do we seek to feel alive?

Just exactly who are we and what will we do to find this out?

People who initially meet me describe me as calm. But at heart I am a true adrenalin junkie hiding in the closet. I like to test the boundaries and find out just how far I can go to confirm that I am who I think  am. I will admit that when I have an audience I get stage fright. But it is normal for women who are on a journey to find themselves, to push against the normal limits of life. There is so much to learn from these experiences. What I gained from ski diving was how I approach fear from what I have learned through my own transformation. I will explain as I tell my story:

I AM ALWAYS AT THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME AND THINGS HAPPEN IN DIVINE RIGHT ORDER FOR ME.

That’s what I believe! So when I got the opportunity to do a fire walk, I did.  I questioned my belief as I stood in front of six meters of hot coals that came from the huge bonfire next to me. Really, was I at the right place, at the right time? Was it not a story I had told myself that just sounded good? The red path ahead of me, with a background where the universe echoed the relevance of my experience of fear was becoming infused with raindrops that distracted me, as the lightning lit up the evening sky.

I walked across the hot coals, regardless, I faced my dragon – “Can little me really defy the laws of nature? Can I defy that fire burns? Will mind-over-matter in this mental frenzy make me believe that anything is possible, like when I broke that plank with pure focus? Is fear about focus?

I learned that there are no mystical issues at play when it comes to doing a fire walk, breaking a plank or sky-diving:

• Only our beliefs hold us in bondage of our experience and the environment plays along with this. It is what we believe about the circumstances that we face and this determines if we can choose where to place our focus!

• There is a mighty ability of the mind to control the body. This is echoed by the thought leaders of our time like Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist specialising in cloning. In his book Biology of Belief, he claims that our beliefs determine our biology. This implies that with our minds we can control our cellular body structure, i.e. make our feet believe that we are walking on moist moss as we do a we fire walk. I focused my mind on the singular belief, “I am feeling moist moss under my feet” – enough not to get burnt. Sounds ridiculous now, but it is true for me.

• The secret to fire-walking is to keep your attention in the present goal of your choice, instead of what is happening around you.

• Your focus is deliberate and intentional. You believe. It is FASCINATING stuff that we can defy the laws of nature with our minds, by merely being in the moment.

FEAR cannot operate in the present here and now. I was scared to death thinking about it, but in the moments that counted I was present to the desired state of cool moss under my feet.

The big lesson here is to hold a vision with intense focus. Your body has to believe, without a shadow of doubt, that those hot coals are cool moss! And during those moments in which you believe it, it serves you to align your internal and external values. There is total focus on the business at hand, the play on our strengths and the meaning we attach to it, one so powerful that it manages to hold our mind ransom to succeed.

 WHICH OPPORTUNITIES EXIST IN THIS PLACE OF FEARLESSNESS?

Hold your vision so powerfully and with such an intense focus that no limiting belief can block your view. This is the sacred space where we empower ourselves in order to see our options. Are you focused on the solution or the problem? “What do you see, hear or feel?” And – are you in the present moment or living in the past or future?

The most important tip when it comes to overcoming fear is to pay attention to our focus.

I wrote a poem which captured for me a very important lesson that day, of esprit de corps as we all did our fire-walk together.

“Energy flows where attention goes

Finding your inner TRUTH

I am spirit in a human body

Because this is my way to evolve

Therefore I experience change

After I make meaning of it

While I am present in the moment

Whenever I feel with heart and soul

So that I can just be who I truly am

As if I am part of everything else

Although I know everything

In the same way that I recognise my truth”

And just in case you thought, “Aaah well, that was a once-off affair for her, I also skydived in Perris, Los Angeles and got lost in the ocean of Hawaii, but I’ll tell you more about that, another time….

To wet your appetite’s here is my skydiving video

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The smartest goal you will ever make is to overcome your fears.

Maybe this will inspire you to face your fears.

There are many ways to create smart goals by overcoming your fear. The question is: “How far will you go to test the boundaries?” Many people risk little and gain little. Some other venture further than their comfort zone. Others still want to feel alive. Those are the ones who dive deeper into finding shortcuts, circumvent the system and rattle the cages of those who like their safe spaces.

There is no perfect way. There is only your way and you are who you are. But if you want different results, you need to choose a different road. For that you need a goal, a role model or even vision inspired by your dreams.