How to beat that bully at his emotional game?Adele Green
How to beat that bully at his emotional game?
Get off the low self esteem treadmill, up your EQ and become a spiritual warrior. Improve your assertiveness without putting others down and take your self respect back!
If they say YOU DESERVE IT they mean buy this product. But stuff cannot give you self-respect or value. The level to which you allow others to put you down or control you, is directly linked to the way you respect yourself. So in order to improve your value you can look towards equality.
A frog will jump out of a pot with boiling water, but not a pot where the water heats so slowly that he can not feel the temperature of the water rise. In the end the frog that dies is the one who does not know the water is slowly heating up.
Just like this frog that will eventually die, bullying is rife in relationships and completely hidden in plain sight but very damaging to self esteem.
My first shock came as I realized that I too have been subjected to bullying. I am a gentle person who likes order and peacefulness.
Little did I know that by avoiding conflict I was locking myself into a little treadmill wheel, like a mouse that could never get off. I would do just about anything to avoid conflict. It was this very outlook on life, which kept me from increasing my self value. Each time I tried to avoid conflict I would make a decision that would give my power away to a bully. It sounds silly but by playing the game I was giving it permission to go on.
The problem is this: avoiding conflict does not reduce tension, if anything, it escalates it, according to the Huffington Post’s Lisa Earle McLeod.
A bully isn’t just someone who gets a kick out of being mean. Bullies are not born. A bully is someone who is in pain and lacks the control to do something about it, nor have the vision to think it is possible to address the real issue. They try to control someone else with manipulation or force, because it is the next best thing. But, in the process they take away someone’s freedom.
Moms are aware of bullies for their children’s sake. Kids need to be taught what to do in order to avoid being subjected to the cruelty of other children. I never thought that I could be the one being bullied, because I was just being a ‘good wife’. Society also cultivates relationship bullies by expecting women to play female submissive roles.
The only time women stand up for women’s rights is when someone has already been raped or had their boundaries invaded beyond reason. To educate women to stand up to bullies, we need to act from the very moment that our boundaries are not being respected without shouting hate or being pro-women.
Responsible feminine leadership includes the courage to be honest to speak up when your boundaries are being crossed. Equal rights are about everyone and acknowledge our humanness: Men to women; kids to adults; bosses to employees.
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