I Am Sorry I Hurt You – Can You Forgive Me?

I Am Sorry I Hurt You – Can You Forgive Me?

As I reflect at the end of the year, my message is extremely personal. I could have called it What it means to be a woman?, but didn’t. Instead I want to say “I am sorry I hurt you – can you forgive me?“.

From a woman to a man …

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It would be fitting coming from me, the author of Can You See Me Naked:Grow in a conscious relationship, writing a book for men about what women need when they change. The time has come to offer an apology to the masculine. The feminine in us shifts first, and then the masculine follows.

When you read this you will find –

  • lessons from a woman about men
  • the value it has when a man believes in a woman
  • a self portrait
  • gender reflections at midlife

 

Getting married twice on the same date…

It so happened that the 4th of December is always an emotional day for me!

15 Years ago, today, I walked down the rose garden at the Johannesburg Country Club. I was so scared. 10 Years later I had left him, after birthing two boys.

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Comments (2)

  • Dominique Reply

    Aaaah,hello my other me. As often, I identified so much with this post. I, too, have been in a space of entering my own heart this past month and then expressing what is in it to the men I married. Saying I am sorry, but not like I did when I was young. This was a deep cry in my heart, for how I did hurt them. Brave men, indeed. I didn’t realize just how difficult I was until I went to Hawaii to marry for the 2nd time. And leave, again. In this past year, I had to completely own my inner victim and, being mostly alone, I could make new meaning of much, as I reflected. December also tugs at my heart, as I married the man who would not reject me, no matter how much I pushed him away (the father of my 3 beautiful children) on the 6th December, 29 years ago. Somehow, I am blessed to still receive love and gentleness, tender support and kind affection from both my former husbands. I recall saying to you once, “Adele, I think I’m just an extremely difficult woman!” You replied, “No, Dom, you’ve just got a high bullshit detector.” Well, one thing I had to do was own up to my own levels of BS….and, I accept that I have been a rather complex and difficult woman. I was to ultimately open my inner eyes to look at myself clearly – and then accept and love the All of me. In this way, my heart has softened as I look back and it fills with compassion for these men; for myself, my kids, and for not knowing then, what I know now. I had to laugh reading your last paragraph. Yes, unconsciously, my inner child was so often acting out and seeking validation from the men in my life! From the deepest place within me, I can now honestly say that I am sorry for hurting you. And myself. May healing touch each and everyone of us as we shift into wholeness.

    January 5, 2016 at 6:17 pm
    • Adele Green Reply

      One at a time, that is how we do it.

      Thank you Dom for sharing what clearly comes from a very open heart. Remember that the bigger we open our hearts the stronger our boundaries need to be.
      Just like the more we experience from owning our responsibilities.

      Thank you for sharing your personal story with us here in our tribe.

      Love always Adele

      January 11, 2016 at 1:06 pm

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